Sunday, June 24, 2012

Less Nausea and More Worrying That My Baby Will Turn Out Like a Square Watermelon

When not wanting to vomit makes you want to vomit...
Week of Pregnancy: 11
Fruit to Fetus Comparison: Small Apricot
General feeling: Less bloated, but feeling an actual protuberance from my lower abdomen – possibly uterus? Who knows these days. Feeling fat regardless.
Husband's excitement rating: ‘Meh’ but actually suggested a couple of baby names this week – so perhaps excitement is growing? Still peeved about my addiction to pregnancy apps on the iPhone.

So, apparently, the more nausea you have during pregnancy, the healthier the baby (according to several of my friends), which was great... until all forms of nausea ceased one day and never came back. Now I’m having a small freak out and actually wish I was feeling sicker. Yeah, I’ve gone wrong somewhere along the line, but the nausea was a factual happening that encouraged me to believe I really was pregnant, not just fat (that, and the pregnancy test, and sonogram). Now that it’s gone, I kind of wonder whether I still am pregnant. I know, weird, as I still have the cravings and aversions (to a lesser extent- trying my first steak tonight!) still get horrible heartburn that I’ve never had before, am still exhausted constantly and sleeping up to twelve hours when given the chance, but I guess not wanting to throw up has really got me worried.

So I googled it.


Half the websites said it was fine and normal (Yay!), and the other half told me something was horribly wrong. HORRIBLY! YOUR BABY MAY HAVE THE UGLINESS GENE! The sicker the mother, the healthier the baby! Your baby must not be very healthy! OMG LOOK OUT IT COULD BE AN ALIEN!

Stupid mothering board. Not to mention a lot of the mothers that use those boards are bitches. Seriously! I wonder if you just grow a bitch gene because you become a mother. Well, soon to find out! (Honestly – I know plenty of mothers in real life who are lovely and total non-bitches! Just a lot of haters on the internet!)

So I learned my lesson. No more internet mothering-boards.

But while we're on the topic of stupid people: Who invented half of these pregnancy apps you can get on your phone. Granted, I have about five (no joke! I want to be prepared - I check them daily while eating my morning toast) but they all contradict each other!! Eg: Week 11 - baby size: 5 cm, 7cm, 3cm, 5.4cm, the size of a small apricot.  I went with the fruit measurement as it felt tastier. Then, they have things like :

To Do List:
1 - schedule blood test (Check)2 - Get massage. (Uh... okay... is this compulsory? Do all expectant mothers get massages at 12 weeks?)
3 - Spend five minutes a day thinking about your baby. Are you freaking kidding? It is constantly on my mind 24/7 - the worries, the excitement, the bloating, the nausea, the lack of nausea! I'm lucky to get 5 minutes of not thinking about it! 

In saying that, I'm a bit addicted to the apps, and will not be deleting them unless they get really stupid. Also they show me 'what your fetus could look like' which is quite exciting. It's looking less like an alien and more like a small monkey right now :)

Next: All of my clothing (except my fat jeans & hoodies) is slightly too tight. Have been wearing a lot of stockings due to cold weather, and constantly have small freakouts that because they come up to the belly button (granny stockings) my uterus somehow won’t grow outwards and my baby will be long and thin. Irrational, but something to ponder. Is this how they create square watermelons?

Finally (I’ll shut up in a second) I can’t eat like I used to. I used to be able to (on a hungry day) put away a whole foot-long sub from subway no problems, and simply feel full after. Now I have to take it in sections, a quarter every half an hour. I am still determined to eat it (pretty healthy after all and I’m too busy to cook much at the moment!) but it takes a while. All our home cooked meals I’ve halved my portions. I thought you were meant to eat more while pregnant? Apparently this will be like a diet for me... for now!! Now that I can eat meat again, I plan on having a couple of steaks before the week is out.


Edit: Successfully have put away two steak and veg dinners (not the whole lot but a good portion) and two healthy hamburger lunches over the past few days. Thanks to those who didn’t give up on my carnivorous nature. I love you guys!

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